In Nara now, writing from my hostel. Japan has been incredible and trying thus far. More than anything, I want this trip to be something special, to show me something I don't know, or to heal me, but really what I am learning is how trapped and caught up my ego is with that experience.
Yvette and I had a rough day. We got lost 2x on the warmest day since we've been here, right in the middle of cherry blossom viewing. But at the end of it all, we found the temple we were looking for, with a giant (maybe 5 story?) Buddha and beautiful grounds to stroll in. Not surprisingly, it made me feel very small, and, at the same time, connected to all the people around me: the tourists, the gawking westerners, the crying children, as well as the ancestors, the monks who walked the halls, the warriors in the 13th century. It was all very humbling.
I miss home. I have been having more vivid dreams here, or perhaps I just have the time to wake up in the morning and remember them. It makes me feel more connected to a place and people that are very far away.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
rambling "I"s
3/19/09
you know my wandering days are over
does that mean that I’m getting boring
well you tell me
I’m tired of talking to myself
a few weeks ago, on my bachan’s 90th birthday, an aunt and uncle from texas exclaimed that they had seen and bought the perfect bumper sticker for me ‘not all who wander are lost.’ it seemed a bit of a misnomer to me. i traveled a few life changing road trips across the country when i was in my early 20’s and stopped to stay with them along the way. full of enthusiams and self discoveries, i’m sure i had plenty to ramble about.
i used to write when i traveled, and last night, as i spoke to my friend K, i remembered that’s partly how we became friends. i was on the road traveling, and would post my updates on friendster. i have no idea what i used to write now, or what made it interesting to people. As i’ve hit my Saturn returns, i spend more time obsessing on being Virgo than about making grand revelations.
i’m feeling old, and naïve at the same time. like no one could possibly listen to any narcissistic discovery i might make. so here goes…
you know my wandering days are over
does that mean that I’m getting boring
well you tell me
I’m tired of talking to myself
a few weeks ago, on my bachan’s 90th birthday, an aunt and uncle from texas exclaimed that they had seen and bought the perfect bumper sticker for me ‘not all who wander are lost.’ it seemed a bit of a misnomer to me. i traveled a few life changing road trips across the country when i was in my early 20’s and stopped to stay with them along the way. full of enthusiams and self discoveries, i’m sure i had plenty to ramble about.
i used to write when i traveled, and last night, as i spoke to my friend K, i remembered that’s partly how we became friends. i was on the road traveling, and would post my updates on friendster. i have no idea what i used to write now, or what made it interesting to people. As i’ve hit my Saturn returns, i spend more time obsessing on being Virgo than about making grand revelations.
i’m feeling old, and naïve at the same time. like no one could possibly listen to any narcissistic discovery i might make. so here goes…
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